A. J. Olvera’s Book Talk on September 21, 2019

Published September 26, 2019

I gave this talk about my book on September 21, 2019.

More extensive remarks on the book follow:

So, why did I write a book about Psychedelic Chaosatanism?
And What is it?

Ever since I was young, it seemed like someone thought I was ‘going to hell.’ I made and broke so many promises to god in my youth that I resigned myself to be among the damned by the age of 16. At some point, I just had to embrace it. If what you are is continually demonized, you make the demons beautiful.

As a spiritual young woman, I utterly failed to identify as a Christian. I simply did not see myself reflected in the icons of my parent’s church. Also, I loved the earth, sun, moon, and stars much more than I professed to love the “father, son and holy ghost.” Later, I sought to identify with a female divinity, but Mary, the Madonna, is the only sanctified version of I could find. She’s nice, but she’s not a goddess, she’s a vessel. Mary is prized for her virginity and her “immaculate conception.” I needed something else, so I went spiritual-touring. I sampled Wicca, Ceremonial Magic, Chaos Magic, Eastern traditions and more. Eventually, after shopping around for some years, I came to the conclusion that religion is essentially a kind of art. It is the texts, rituals, and icons we use to define our idea of the sacred. People choose religions that feel intuitively comfortable and impart a sense of meaning to their existence and identity.

In light of this, one might ask, “Why Psychedelic ChaoSatanism?”

Why create this unusual brand?

In my 50 years on earth, I’ve discovered two things I consider to be “real magick” – love and psychedelics. Both can be profoundly instructive, and both have transformative effects on individual consciousness. If there is a true, earthly sacrament that actually gets one “closer to god” it is psychedelics. Psychedelics can be powerful tools for spiritual growth but are best wielded with great care and forethought.

Why the Chaos? Because there is an element of Chaos in the fabric of reality. The chaos in the universe provides mutation-evolution, anomaly, and “black swan” events. It is the engine of material change. Chaos and Heisenberg’s uncertainty theory contain the seeds of a great mystery. For that reason, I have made chaos theory part of my central dogma.

Why Satan? I often say that I am satanic by default. What that means is that I didn’t choose it as much as it became inevitable. The most popular brands of religion are ruined, at least for me. All of them have been complicit in human atrocity too often. To say one prefers “Satan” to the outdated offerings of stone-age morality, is a form of protest. Still, I would never condemn Christians as a whole. There are good and bad people in every church. But, it’s not your religion that makes you “good” – people are good despite their religion, not because of it. To defuse the formidable power of belief, I take all religions with a grain of salt. (Even and especially my own.)

Finally, my book does not assert anything supernatural. It is not a book about magick or spirituality. It does not compete with “how-to” witchcraft manuals or treatises on magickal theory. Rather it is a cultural commentary on the existence of satanic subcultures. It is the manifesto of a spiritual refugee – a girl who rejected the hollow, sexist version of divinity she was offered. You Might Be a Psychedelic ChaoSatanist If… is both a jest about the failings of organized religion and a coherent statement of personal principle.

A. J. Olvera 9/21/2019